on this weeks forecast, there is 0% chance of getting laid
can i stay at your place? no hobo
hickeys are beautiful because they are the only time a bruise results from love and affection rather than harm
if u think it’s impossible to fall asleep to heavy metal then ur completely wrong
you all deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you all the time and i really hope all of you find that one day because you all deserved to be loved
This was the single funniest thing I have ever seen a president do.
I’M STILL LAUGHING.
I will never not reblog this.
Let’s all take a moment to remember that Obama actually fucking did this omg